i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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