haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you had me at cake vodka
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
