morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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