i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
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Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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