You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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