A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
