idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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