Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
