Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize