My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
