at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
3pm strippers are depressing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
