come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
