This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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