so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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