What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
