I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
