But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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