He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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