my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
