this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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