Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
