after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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