No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
