Walk of Shame. In a state park.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
