Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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