You're completely useless in the revolution.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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