we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
