Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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