so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
