I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
