He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I enjoy the company of your penis
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
