The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize