i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
