Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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