BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
