you guys were way drunker than both of me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
