So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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