i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
