I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
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If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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