I want to make a zoo with you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
