you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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