If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't deserve a penis
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
