yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
