im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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