We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
