Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
