pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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