you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
