saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
