If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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