It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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