happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize