he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize