there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
