I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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