I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
