My sheets look like a crime scene.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
