Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
