I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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