Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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