You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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