More tranny stories later!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
