you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
