people are starting to question the shark bite story
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
