I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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