Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
