What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
