Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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