this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize