i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
