Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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