Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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