Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
