Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
