If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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