this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
