So many bounce houses so little time
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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